Mostly limericks, based on current events.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

No thanks, John D(imwit) Rockefeller IV

Jay's got a miniscule mind,
So he tells us that we should be blind
And not ask smart hackers
To track our attackers.
I don't want advice from his kind.

Democrats Say They Didn't Back Wiretapping

Friday, December 16, 2005

Where's our Jolly Molly?

Molly Ivins is gloomy, NOT gloating.
She knows that her words aren't worth noting.
Her mood is quite saddened
'Cause Iraqis are gladdened.
They're going to polls and they're voting.

Ivins: Despite Bush's claims, situation grows steadily worse in Iraq (HURL ALERT)

Michael Schiavo: Death Guru 12/16/2005

Though his stories are riddled with holes,
Mike comes out on the top in the polls
With a little lie here,
And a crocodile tear
He's adept at distorting men's souls.

Did 'revoked' living willkill communicative man?

Cookbook for Successful Flim-Flam

The pressure for cloning's so great
That a researcher might take the bait
And "doctor" his finds
To mislead weaker minds
Proving -- greed is a strong human trait

Clone Scandal: 'A Tragic Turn' for Science [S. Korea scientists fabricated evidence]

A second look at Hwang Woo Suk

Hwang's just a name in the news.
'Cuz the man's disappeared from our views.
He's been hospital-ridden
Since we've learned he was kiddin'
And he can't show us cells to peruse.

Collaborator says Korean cloning pioneer admitted faking stem cell result

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Howard Dean's Big Head -- 12/10/2005

Old Deanie is really intense,
You can't say he sits on a fence,
He states his opinion
But never can win in
A race, 'cause his ego's IMMENSE.

Dean fires back at GOP on Iraq

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Memo to Governor Blanco after Hurricane Katrina: Dress for Duress

To be sure to outshine all your foes --
Wear a wardrobe of Liz Claiborne clothes
Don a sweater by Bauer.
For a touch of raw power,
Put on waterproof boots with steel toes.

Katrina e-mails show Blanco PR worries

"Gov. Blanco might dress down a bit and look like she has rolled up her sleeves," ... "I have some great Liz Claiborne sports clothes that look kind of Eddie Bauer, but with class, but would bring her down to level of getting to work."

Saturday, December 10, 2005

And the ratings say.... Rush is #1

Al Franken did not make the list.
As a host, he should cease and desist.
There's nary a chance
His spot will advance
Since his show's such a snap to resist.

Limbaugh crowned No. 1 in talk radio again. Hannity #2, Savage #3. Where's Franken?

Friday, December 09, 2005

A Rush to Blame

John Kerry is really to blame
For his own words, he spoke, that are lame.
John's verbal assault
Is not Rush's fault.
Kerry must bear all the shame.

John Kerry Blames Rush Limbaugh for Iraq Blooper

Kerry 12/4/2005: "no reason ... that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the - of - the historical customs, religious customs - Iraqis should be doing that."

Kerry 12/9/2005: "You know, the only people who are trying to make anything out of that, to be honest with you, are Rush Limbaugh and a few people on the right," Kerry told radio host Don Imus.

Coulter should have kept talking at UConn

She should have forced the hecklers to work harder.

Also, Bose could donate some noise cancelling headsets for Ann to distribute to those who want to hear what she speaks into a directional microphone.

Ann Coulter to hecklers: You're stupider than I am

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Rummy beats Lehrer

Jim Lehrer is red in the face
For causing himself this disgrace
Acting just like a DUmmy
He badgered Don Rummy
But wound up in very last place.


The Dems want us out of Iraq.

The Dems want us out of Iraq.
They'll give (but won't take any) flak.
Those tough-talking pipsqueaks
Jump high when a door creaks.
Empty tents are the thing they'd attack.

Iraq: Dems Have Boxed Themselves In

Bossy Bloomberg Speaks: On the Roberts Confirmation

Bloomberg is saying, "Oh, Woe,
Judge Roberts might overturn Roe."
New York's Boston-born mayor,
Is a nosey nay-sayer,
My opinion of him's at a low

Chuck Schumer is a hatchet man

Chuck Schumer is a hatchet man
Not anywhere near an attractive man
He sneers, he lies,
And averts his eyes,
Can he be nasty? In fact, he can.

License too shrill

Chuck like to boss folks around
And his voice is his own fav'rite sound.
He vows, til he's hoarse,
That he'd take guns by force.
Don't argue, 'cause he'll shoot you down.

Little Chuckie Schumer

Chuck Schumer's like a two-year old --
Very negative and kind of bold.
He can't say "Aye."
He must deny
A judge who's found to be pure gold.

Persnickety Jack Cafferty makes me want to laff-erty 10/01/2005

Jack spends his time on mindless cavils
Like Bush's mileage during travels.
But Jack could better use his craft
If he measured Blanco's graft.
Watching Nagin could be good
And counting cops per N'Awlins 'hood.

CNN: Is Bush Spending Too Much Time on the Disasters? Or Too Little?
Post 5]

Poems from Burma Shave Signs


Hillary's aide - Sidney Blumenthal

There once was a low-life named Sidney.
Who dealt with life's dregs, like a kidney.
Doing Hillary's work,
Like some low-level clerk
With morals as pliant as a squid knee.

Condi's trail of lies [Sidney Blumenthal Alert!]

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Wilson's Perfidy -- July 16, 2005

Joe took the Islamicists' side,
When he said that the President lied.
Since the Times spread Joe's tale,
Please put them in jail
And, certainly, Joe should be fried

Sharp Elbows and Karl Rove [2 NYT Letters to the Editor writers not buying Left's whine about Rove]

Cindy Sheehan

I know of a woman in Texas
Does her bestest and mostest to hex us.
She says she loves children
Yet, she'd let Saddam kill them
Since he didn't take steps to annex us.

(c. August 29, 2005?)
Sheehan said, "You know what? I'm doing this for every child in this world, because if we let George Bush continue, it's going to be eternal war forever. My unborn grandchildren will have to fight in this war."

Grilling Ted Kennedy

Dems can taste quite succulent
If they're not too truculent

Eau d' Chris

Chris Matthews will rarely make sense.
(Perhaps 'cause his brain is too tense.)
As he spews forth ridiculous gaffes,
He spits and he giggles and laughs.
His guests sit FAR BACK, in defense.

There's something big coming in this city (Chris Matthews)

Pro-euthanasia Dims Dims Dims

They may talk o’ agent outting,
While stamping feet and pouting--
Yelling, “White ‘ouse is the nastiest of places.”

But when it comes to slaughter
They’ll deprive the weak of water
And they’ll never ’ave the shame to ‘ide their faces.

Shades of the Soviet Union - The Judith Miller story.

Have you heard that Miss Miller's recanting?
Her excuses are less than enchanting.
"I've done readers wrong."
"Now I'm moving along."
"I hope you'll forgive my news-slanting."

Miller 'sorry' for WMD inaccuracies [Judith Miller, the US journalist has apologised to her readers]

Joe Wilson calls Novak names

Joe Wilson's gone blankity mad.
Hot anger pours out of the cad.
Playing juvenile games,
He calls Novak names.
His joi d'vivre's gone. It's so sad.

Joe Wilson Calls Bob Novak An “A**hole” And A “Jerk”…...

Note to Hillary 12/01/05:

You'd be more prepossessing
If you didn't keep folks guessing.